I was 18 years old, privileged, popular and promising. Early one morning, returning from a party, my friend was involved in a motor vehicle accident and lost his life and I somehow lost my mind. Images of our friends crying at the hospital, his funeral and later attempts of mine to make sense of it all are etched on my mind forever.
I have come to learn that I was most affected by shock shortly after witnessing the accident and then due to a preexisting chemical imbalance began to manifest symptoms synonymous with those of of Bipolar Disorder (BD). The diagnosis came a few years later.
I choose this space to “come out” about my life with BD. I have a story to tell which reveals how God (the Giver of life) is being glorified even in the midst of mania and depression.
I am still privileged, less popular and more promising (I insist)…I am currently pursuing a Masters degree, I have no addictions (not counting coffee) and remain sweetly single.
I wouldn’t be entirely truthful if I didn’t mention that on occasion I have regretted being born and dreaded even the sound of my own voice. I have also had periods in which I’ve thought way too much of myself and been unrecognizably euphoric.
In spite of these experiences however, and painful scars which remain…I have resurfaced and do so a little more every day.